How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

How to Start a Conversation With a Woman

By John Alexander

Author, How to Become an Alpha Male

Last week I had the easiest pick up and lay in my life, and it all started with me walking by a random girl and saying (using a clear, resonating voice and disinterested, but relaxed and sexual body language), "Hey."

She looked up, expecting me to say something interesting.

My follow-up was simply, "Do you know where the smoothie place is? I'm in the mood for a smoothie."

After that, she kept the conversation going. Simple, right?

Here was the key: I always made sure that she was reacting to me more than I was reacting to her.

When I first started speaking to her, I frankly couldn't care less about what she thought of me.

My mindset was, "I'm just going through my day. But hey, if some hot chick wants to earn my attention, that's cool. If not, I'm going to enjoy my day just the same."

I've coached a lot of guys, and the mistake I most often see a guy make when he opens a conversation with a girl is that he tries to get a response from her.

Maybe he tries too hard to make her laugh. Or he starts asking her weird questions that he shouldn't be interested in when speaking to a total stranger (e.g., "What's you major?" or How has your day been today?")

This sets her up with a higher value than him.

You see, whenever you set a girl up with a higher value
than you (like when you're trying to win her approval), this causes her to lose attraction for you.

In every conversation, there is always one person who is reacting more than the other. The person who reacts less (i.e., is the more relaxed of the two) is the more dominant, or alpha, person.

The person trying to win the other's approval is the one who's more attracted. So a girl will struggle to make small talk and keep the conversation going as long as your value is higher than hers.

Women are attracted to men who are a challenge for them. If at some point it becomes clear that you're trying to win her approval, then there's no longer a challenge for her and she loses interest.

Keep the alpha status and stay in control of the situation right from the beginning. Make sure to not ever react too much to what a girl says. Always remain more relaxed than her.

So the answer to the best way to begin a conversation with a woman is this: Don't try. Don't care what she thinks. Just say whatever you want.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male. Learn the easy way to talk to girls.
http://www.thegamesgotrules.com

Other Blogs about becoming an alpha male:

http://becomeanalphamale.blogspot.com/
http://alpha-male-23.livejournal.com/
http://becomeanalphamale.typepad.com/
http://blog.myspace.com/156890863
http://alphamale23.wordpress.com/
http://www.xanga.com/avandelay
http://radio.weblogs.com/0153116/
http://becomeanalphamale.blog.com/
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-s0evwH8wd7aXOzCjGBB4XoBGfIt2SA

Using The 'Fated Encounter' For First Date Seduction Success

Using The 'Fated Encounter' For First Date Seduction Success
By John Alexander
Author, How to Become an Alpha Male

Wouldn't it be nice if you could create feelings within a woman of a deep connection with you... even if you two have known each other for only a few hours... and without having to resort to complicated (and risky!) hypnosis tactics?

Well, good news. There is a very easy, no-risk way to do this. I call it the Fated Encounter Technique.

Here's why it works. Every woman has a fantasy from the time she was a little girl, triggered by a constant diet of romance movies and novels, about fate bringing the man of her dreams to her.

In one typical scene the guy and the girl almost bump into each other on the sidewalk. Instead, fate keeps them apart, and they go their separate ways.

Then, two years later, they live in the same apartment building. Yet after several close calls, they still don't meet, again because of fate.

The two date other people, off and on, and yet are never happy. Months go by. The man and the woman each ponder what it will be like when they meet that special someone, someday...

And then near the end of the movie, fate finally brings them together. And of course they hit it off right from the start.

Wouldn't it be nice if that could happen in real life, rather than having to wait through several dates before the woman finally feels comfortable enough with you to have sex?

Well, it can. You can speed the seduction process and have the woman feeling deeply connected with you by using my Fated Encounter Technique. I'll explain how it works.

During the course of your conversation with the woman, you bring up places she has been to. If you've been to those same places, you then talk about how amazing it is that the two of you could have been there at the same time and yet destiny kept you apart.

Let's say, to use a recent example I encountered, that she shops at the local Whole Foods grocery store.

You can then say, "That's awesome. I shop there too. Imagine, we've probably seen each other there all the time!"

Another example would be that the two of you go to downtown LA all the time, and probably have walked past each other on many occasions.

And now, you can say, "Isn't it amazing how fate has finally brought us together?"

As the conversation progresses, the two of you can talk about other coincidences, and the things the two of you might have done together if you'd only known each other.

With the seed planted, as the girl thinks about those coincidences, and how "fate" has now brought the two of you together, she will then start to feel as if she's known you, on a deeper psychic level, for a lot longer than just a few hours.

You, she concludes, are the man she's been waiting for all her life.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male ... a seduction success guide for men. Learn the 7 Step Seduction System that takes you from saying "hello" to a new woman... to sharing orgasms in bed with her... in just one evening!

http://www.thegamesgotrules.com

Four Keys to Overcoming Your Nervousness Around Women

Four Keys to Overcoming Your Nervousness Around Women

By John Alexander

Author, How to Become an Alpha Male

Standing at the magazine rack thumbing through Cosmo, she has the most gorgeous face you've ever seen. Her hair is silky brown. Her skin looks so radiant and so incredibly soft. You would be on top of the world if you could pick her this girl up.

You feel the fear deep in your gut.

You know that even if you got your balls in gear and went for it, you wouldn't know what to say. You feel so nervous and fumbly that you would reject yourself if you were her. So you shy away from even approaching her in the first place.

Does this situation sound familiar? If so, keep reading.

The first thing for you to realize is that all guys get anxiety about approaching women. I know I certainly do.

But what separates you (and me) from the rest of the guys is...

What You Do About Your Fear.

Most guys let fear paralyze them... not just about chicks, but about other things in their life like their career... which is why, unfortunately, most guys will never find the success that they want.

First, look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the chicks.

If you're thinking about rejection, then that means you're making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just guessing, but I think if you're like most guys, your goal is getting chicks attracted to you so that you can get laid).

Try this instead... approach without having any expectations. No goals.

Let me tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm inclined to be an introvert, as I discuss in my book , How to Become an Alpha Male."

So to overcome my shyness, I would force myself to chat up everybody, no matter who they were... hot girls, ugly girls, fat girls, old people, men, children, people walking dogs, etc.

I would talk about neutral topics with them, nothing to do with picking up chicks.

The net result from all of that was I became really good at approaching people.

After that, however, I made a mistake. I said to myself, "Since I'm so good at approaching people and have become an outgoing person, why am I wasting time talking to anyone other than hot chicks?"

So then I limited the people I talked to... and my anxiety about talking to random women swept over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice chatting up strangers in the first place.

At that point I realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had thoughts like "I'm going to try to lay this chick" in my mind... before I'd even opened my mouth to say "hi"... and so I would crash and burn. It sucked.

Here's something I want you to try. Whenever you go out, talk to three people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot women. In general, I've found that elderly people (both males and females) and fat women are easy to talk to.

If it helps, set up a time limit for your practice interactions, like that you'll talk to the person for 30 seconds and then you'll get out of the conversation. (Say something like, "Well, I'm on my way to meeting a friend. Good chatting with you." And then walk away without making a big deal of it.)

Once you've done your practices and feel warmed up, then you can chat up hot chicks. Again though, do it without having any sort of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a chick passes by you in a hallway, just say, "Hey, I need a quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that you genuinely want a female opinion on.)

Remember though: have no outcome in mind. So it doesn't matter if the chick responds rudely.

In fact, when you reach a point that you've chatted up lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude responses on their part mean nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of women give me that exact same 'clever' rude comment."

I've been rejected hideously, time and time again. One chick screamed "Go away!" at me before I could even get out my initial sentence.

Another time I thought it was amusing when I approached a group of two girls, just for practice, and right after I said "hey," they both turned their backs on me in unison, as if they were synchronized dancers!

Now I just look back on all of that and laugh.

My point is that the more you approach, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It'll bore you rather than cause you anxiety.

Think of it as trying to build a house. You put down one brick at a time and cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It'll take a long time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of flu virus that invades your body.

All feelings of nervousness come from within. You have a certain series of thought processes that you go through. You say things to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up for failure!) You picture the chicks rejecting you. You feel tense in your body. And so on.

So what you can do to break this is to identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh my God, this chick is going to act like a bitch to me because I fumble my words"... think, "It's awesome that I'm making this approach, because if this chick rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to finding my dream girl."

Notice where you feel tense in your body, and then let your muscles relax in those areas. For me, I feel tense in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it alleviates a lot of my tension.

I'll wrap it up for you by concluding with this advice:

1) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

2) Remember that the only way to get over your fear is by doing the thing you fear. The more you do it, the easier it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

3) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

4) Ease the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male ... a seduction success guide for men. Learn to permanently overcome your shyness and anxiety around women.
http://www.thegamesgotrules.com

Body Language

Body Language
By John Alexander
Author, How to Become an Alpha Male


An estimated 67% to 93% of human communication (according to university researchers) is non-verbal, and your body language reveals your internal emotional state. Whether someone's parents just died, or whether they just got promoted to CEO... you can tell by observing their body language.

So, as a man who tries to pick up and seduce women, you should be mindful of what you're communicating non-verbally.

Body language consists of the following:

- Your movements. They should be nonchalant, as if you're so fabulously successful that there's rarely a reason for you to rush nor try to impress anybody. Move through the world doing what you want and assuming that others will follow.

- The displacement of your body. Your arms and legs should be spread out. Don't be afraid to take up space.

- Your voice. It should have a calm, soothing, and commanding effect. Don't speak too fast or strain your voice.

- Your face. Keep your facial muscles relaxed. Never tense your jaw, and only rarely should you frown or wrinkle your brow.

- Your shoulders. Keep them relaxed like they'd be if you just got a massage. Don't raise them up like a nervous person.

I would even go as far as to say that you body language is more important than anything you say, because if your body language doesn't match what you say, then you won't succeed with women.

You see, if you tell a woman stories that convey your confidence, but at the same time you slump over and fold your arms, then you come across as fake.

I've picked up women before merely through the use of my body language. For example, a couple months ago I was at a coffee shop that I frequent, lounging on the couch, arms spread out, with my feet up on the table.

The mindset I had was that I felt so comfortable that it was as if I were in my home lounging on my own couch. It was as if I owned the coffee shop.

The net result was that a girl sitting near me put down her book and started engaging me in random small talk.

(Whenever an attractive girl you don't know starts a random conversation with you, you should ALWAYS assume that she's attracted to you. This is because women generally won't risk the whole male-female dynamic, especially with a stranger, unless they feel attraction.)

The conversation went on for awhile, I got her number, called her that night, and a few days later we met and after several hours went to her place, where I spent the night. (We finally had sex in the morning.)

The bottom line though is that she became initially attracted to me and approached me because of my body language.

Now, of course body language isn't enough. You also must have an internal alpha male mindset that's consistent with your body language.

But make no mistake about it... if your body language conveys confidence, then your mood will also shift to become more confident. And have you ever noticed how when you walk with a spring in your step, you feel more upbeat?

Conversely, when you cast your eyes down and drag your feet, you feel depressed. So your mindset also follows the body language that you adopt.

So, in conclusion, be an alpha male with your mindset and your body language. Be in a woman's personal space and be sexual and interested in her, but at the same time don't be needy or desperate for her attention. Just be comfortable and enjoy yourself.

And when your body language conveys that, it means you'll later be comfortable and enjoying yourself... with the woman.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male, a seduction success system for men that will have you displaying body language that attracts women like a magnet.

http://www.thegamesgotrules.com

The Number One Secret Behind the Alpha Male's Body Language

The Number One Secret Behind the Alpha Male's Body Language
By John Alexander
Author, How to Become an Alpha Male


Watch a man with high status--Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or the CEO where you work--and you'll notice that he moves differently than the rest of us. He gives off vibes that he is hot stuff, and because of that, women get soaking wet over him.

You, too, can create that aura that makes you attractive to women.

Have you ever noticed the way your friends look when they're all nervous? They're looking down at the ground with their arms crossed, fidgeting, with their voices cracking and their eyes bugged out.

And when you give off that kind of body language yourself, women don't want to be around you.

Now, think about successful guys. They've got girls all over them and some great body language going on.

So, what's the number one secret between those high status guys and the low status guys? You've probably guessed it... the alpha males are relaxed and in control when it comes to social situations.

Make no mistake about it... relaxation is the most important mental state for you to be in.

With that in mind, here are some pointers for you to develop the mindset and body language of an alpha male (and by the way, if you think they're easy, you're right... you can make these changes as early as tonight and have even the hottest girls clamoring for your attention):


1. Don't allow yourself to feel worried. Just let your worries go, since you can't solve any problem by worrying. So suck it up, and quit thinking about what might go wrong. Just live life.

Now, I know what I just said is easier said than done (to use an old--but relevant in this case--cliche). You've spent your whole life up until now dwelling on thoughts that make you feel worried.

But what is this emotion we call "worry"? When you think about it, it's simply the fear of what might happen in the future. Essentially you're punishing yourself by feeling upset before anything bad has happened. It makes no logical sense to worry!

So the solution is to avoid contemplating your worrisome thoughts anymore. Identify them for what they are... toxic to your emotional state, and... let them go.


Simply not dwelling on negative outcomes that make you feel upset will reduce 90% of your worries.

2. A second strategy to relax is to breathe through your abdomen rather than your chest.

When you breathe, imagine that you're bringing air down to your stomach. Feel your belly rise and fall as you breathe.

3. Avoid nonverbal behaviors that are the opposite of relaxation:

- Raising your shoulders.

- Wrinkling your forehead.

- Fidgeting with your hands and/or legs.

- Tightening your facial muscles.

4. Relax all your muscles and slow down all of your movements a notch.

Alpha males generally move unhurriedly, as if they are in control of time itself. Beta males are nervous and make jerky movements. Imagine you are standing and walking through a swimming pool, where your movements are slow and fluid.

5. Relax your eyes and eyelids.

Beta males hold their eyelids wide open because they are so nervous. Their eyes dart all around. Instead let your eyelids rest. Look straight ahead. Only give things your attention if they interest you. While you're out and about, do the affirmation to yourself, "I am sexual, I am relaxed, and I am in control."

6. If someone wants your attention, move your head slowly.

A trait common to many beta males is being so eager to please that when someone calls their name, you see them spin their heads toward the person unnaturally fast.

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male ... a seduction success guide for men. Learn more advanced tips on how to develop the mind set and body language of an alpha male.

http://www.thegamesgotrules.com

Other Blogs about becoming an alpha male:

Blogspot
LiveJournal
Typepad
Myspace
Wordpress
Xanga
Weblogs
Blog
Yahoo 360